Death by Traffic Accident/ Life is too short for traffic

21 Mar

There is no doubt in my mind that I *will* die on one of Hyderabad’s main roads in another week or so, maybe I’ll last a month if I’m lucky. No, I am not exaggerating.  I’ve survived three years in Bangalore where people seem to believe that driving reasonably = dying at the slowest possible rate.  Really.  Everyone in the driver’s seat glares at all the other drivers, thinking something like ‘ehhh how DARE that oily walrus-mustached auto driver muddhafuggah look at me like I’m driving slower than him! What he thinks he’s Rajnikanth and I’m some sort of pussy ah? I MUST prove him wrong’ and then drives like a suicidal lemming wherever there is any patch of road available (please note that ‘road’ here means ‘anywhere I can maneuver whatever I’m driving’).

Now, Hyderabadis want to live dangerously as well. Fair enough. I lead a dangerous life too (I let my browser display non-secure items ahem). However, things are so bad here that, chickens would not be able to even try and cross these roads (tee hee, yes I’m aware that that was lame ok).  While they might not be as all-over-the-road (or lack thereof)-ish as Bangaloreans, Hyderabadi’s make up for the insane quotient with their speed. I don’t even need to blow-dry my hair in the morning; all I have to do is stand by the roadside.

Look, I have statistics to prove my point:

See – in 2010 , there were 494 deaths which is more than one death per day, and 2622 people who died probably while trying to cross the road. And, if you look at the number of deaths in 2011 so far, that’s 69 deaths and 428 injured in 79 DAYS!!

This chart clearly illustrates that pedestrians are the ones whose interactions with traffic are most fatal. I’m sure that a majority of that long green bar consists of mountain-dwelling tamilians who very sensibly looked both sides on a one-way road and attempted to cross the road, and WHAM, were rammed over by some stupid Speed-Racer wannabe. Usually I believe that drivers will try not to hit pedestrians, because, I mean, you’d have to go to jail, and no one wants that. However, I may have to rethink things here. Oh fuck I’m going to die before Muse tours in India.

I probably should get cracking on writing on my Final Will & Testament then, eh?

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