things men should never do with this author in bed

21 Apr

#1

If your female companion for the night is decked out in sexy lingerie, there is a good chance that it is expensive. Yes, I understand that you think that it is quite the turn on to rip off my panties with your teeth, but if I happen to mention that “oh yes, that’s from La Senza” or some other brand with a Capitalised Name, then it’s a pretty good bet that I will not be amused if you tear apart my gorgeous, costs-as-much-as-your-efforts-to-get-me-drunk-tonight  lingerie. However, if there is no mention of designer wear, then by all means, rip away.

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