Archive | April, 2012

What do you want, really?

10 Apr

If you knew me, if you really knew me, you’d know that I am more comfortable talking about sex than about love. Or that I am more comfortable saying I want the former than admitting I need the latter.  Right now, I have plenty of the former. And the latter? I could be quite wrong, but I don’t think I’m suffering from a lack of it.



Dear Heart, Him? Sincerely, Brain

3 Apr

“Kiss but don’t love, listen but don’t believe, leave before you are left” said Marilyn Monroe. It’s a surprisingly apt rundown of how I’ve dealt with the men in my life so far. I have a friend who I consider very brave; she falls in love with men whom she knows will break her heart, and yet she lets them. Why? For a chance at happiness, she says. Sounds reasonable enough, yet it’s been impossible for me to do. I always seem to be caught between dreading the responsibility of someone else’s love and being resentful that I didn’t feel properly loved myself.  


It’s because of trust, or the lack thereof. How do you trust someone with knowing you? Why would you give someone the power to hurt you, and trust them not to?



You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.